Grief Counseling
Is Grief Casting A Shadow Over Your Life?
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one or something important to you and feeling like you can’t move on? Do you keep the more difficult emotions bottled up inside rather than burden friends and family with your pain? Are you angered by how everyone else has moved on and seems to expect you to get over it, too?
Ever since experiencing your loss, the sadness, anger, and shame you’ve been living with may be impacting every facet of your life. Perhaps it’s challenging to remain focused at work—you probably feel emotionally drained and exhausted from trying to mask your feelings around co-workers all day.
Although you may have expected others’ company would be comforting, in reality, you might purposely avoid social gatherings. As much as you want to express your true feelings to them, you’ve realized that death is a taboo subject that even your closest friends don’t want to talk about.
You May Struggle With Feelings Of Shame
Although you wake up each morning expecting to feel a little better, you may be struck by how hopeless everything seems. Because you can’t picture what life will look like without your loved one, you might fear the uncertainty of the future and feel angered by the unfairness of losing them.
Your grief could be compounded by extenuating circumstances, such as being estranged from your loved one before they passed or, if they took their own life, feeling ashamed to talk about it. The regret and mixed emotions you’re experiencing could be prolonging and intensifying your grief.
If you feel isolated and misunderstood, grief counseling provides a safe space to express the emotions you can’t talk about anywhere else. Connecting with a therapist allows you to lay down the burden of grief without judgment and learn healthier ways to manage your feelings.
Have any questions? Send us a message!
Death Is An Uncomfortable Subject
Grief is a universal experience that indicates we have lost something important to us. In addition to the death of a loved one or pet, grief can stem from any change in circumstances that take away our vision of the future. When our identity is wrapped up in someone or something that is suddenly gone—such as our health, career, or a beloved pastime—we mourn the loss of what might have been.
As humans, we struggle to comprehend the permanence of death. Rather than admitting that sometimes bad things happen to good people, we prefer to tell ourselves that if we maintain a positive attitude and make good choices, no tragedy will befall us. However, the reality is that no amount of success or good intentions can protect us from suffering loss.
What’s more, when we’re grieving, we may encounter those who become impatient with us or make us feel ashamed for expressing big emotions. As misunderstood and isolated as this is for us, these reactions are how others distance themselves from our pain.
We Might Think There’s Something Wrong With Us
When we compare our grieving experience to what we’ve heard about the Five Stages of Grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—we often conclude we’re doing it wrong. However, we fail to realize that the grieving process is not linear or finite. It’s common to jump back and forth between stages for years and still not feel closer to full acceptance or healing.
Much of the healing process centers around receiving the support and acknowledgment you need when you are grieving. By providing a compassionate and non-judgmental environment, counseling ensures you won’t have to endure your grief alone.
Counseling Can Help You Better Process Your Grief
Grief is a profound experience. Each loss we encounter in life is mourned differently, making it challenging to navigate. Because you are reluctant to burden others, you may keep your grief to yourself. But if you feel like you can’t be authentic with loved ones, it can be harmful to relationships. What’s more, complicated emotions that are left unexpressed become internalized as shame or anger.
If you lack a support system, counseling offers a place to process your grief with unconditional validation. As your counselor, I will bear witness to your grief and be a trusted companion to walk alongside you at this trying time. In sessions with me, you can be as authentic, honest, and raw as you want without any fear of judgment. Accessing your pain and allowing it to unfurl in a safe space is not only healing but also truly brave.
What To Expect From Grief Therapy
In sessions, you can articulate the significance of your loss and describe how you’ve been impacted by it. If you are grieving a loved one, in counseling you can tell me who that person was to you. Rather than have to sugarcoat the depth of your grief, we can speak frankly about the hole in your heart that has been left by their passing.
Once we better understand how prolonged or complex grief is impeding your ability to function, we can identify helpful coping mechanisms to manage your sadness, anger, shame, or anxiety about living without your loved one. I will help keep you accountable and encourage you to follow a self-care routine that includes getting back to activities and hobbies that bring you joy. I will also help you identify resources for support and ensure you connect with them.
The Modalities I Use In Grief And Loss Counseling
In addition to the in-the-moment processing that occurs throughout bereavement counseling that will foster incremental healing, I may also incorporate other modalities to help manage your loss. For example, Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for grief can help you process and integrate the traumatic memories related to your loss, such as witnessing the death of your loved one.
Therapy can’t mend a broken heart. However, grief counseling will ensure someone is walking by your side with an empathetic ear and guidance to help support you no matter where you are.
But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Grief Counseling Is Right For You…
How long will I need to attend grief therapy before it will make a difference?
Experiencing a deep loss isn’t simply an inconvenience—it is a life-changing event that takes time to adequately process. In counseling, you will learn that grief is something you learn to carry with you rather than ever completely get over. As you move through your loss, working with a bereavement counselor will help you develop more helpful and effective ways to think about your emotions and manage your grief.
Will getting vulnerable in bereavement counseling make it harder for me to keep it together day-to-day?
Understandably, you might worry that by dropping your defenses in grief therapy, you run the risk of falling apart. However, in counseling, you will learn that it’s possible to find emotional strength by allowing yourself to be vulnerable about your grieving process. Instead of showing weakness, expressing your emotions allows you to tap into your capacity for love and connection. Letting go of the idea of putting on a brave face for the sake of others can be liberating.
Talking to a counselor about my grief is bound to make me feel worse, right?
Grief is never linear. Undoubtedly, some days will be harder than others. It’s unrealistic to expect counseling to eliminate your grief entirely. Our goal in therapy will be to help you move forward when you feel stuck, set more realistic expectations about the grief journey, and learn better ways of taking care of yourself. By nurturing a relationship with your therapist who will act as an steady sounding board in each session, you can ensure you will be seen and heard in your grief without judgment.
You Don’t Have To Suffer From Grief Alone
With support, you no longer have to face your loss without a healthy outlet to process your emotions. To find out more about grief therapy with Kairos Counseling Services, LLC, either in person or online, please call or text 719-399-5543, email kairoscounselingservices@hushmail.com, or visit my contact page.
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